Old Zone Barricade
Featured in one of our videos, this large prop also includes a 20-by 12-inch red cone. We recommend blowing them up and blocking off the good chair for him before the guest of honor arrives. Rating: five age spots
Over the Hill Gift Basket
Filled with stuff that stereotypical old people use daily. Includes pack of Metamucil (laxative), denture cleaner, bran flakes, anti-aging soap, birthday kazoo, medical alarm system, and giant “While You Were Napping” message pad. Rating: 3 age spots
Playing Cards
A regular deck of cards but they are huge: 5 inch by 7 inch, which makes them almost impossible to play with – a good thing! Emphasizes the guest of honor’s failing eyesight and lack of manual dexterity. Rating: 3 age spots.
Electric Nose and Ear Cleaner
This is a two-stage funny gift. It’s a laugher right in the package and it gets even better when you take it out and install the two AAs. Press the button and the swab twirls and swirls like a madman. Put the finger over the swab and the intense velocity will probably fling it across the room. Despite this gadget’s name, do not place it inside anyone’s nasal or ear cavity! The humor will wear off in the emergency room. Rating: 4 age spots.
Inflatable Walker
Unless the guest of honor uses a real walker, this inflatable version should get a laugh from everyone who sees it. Doesn’t take a lot of air to fill it, but it’s still worth inflating ahead of time for maximum impact. Let the geezer pretend to use it once and then put it somewhere obvious but out of the way. It’s not built for actual use or too much abuse. Rating: 5 age spots
Prescription Bottle Cocktail Shaker
Apparently the makers of this gag gift actually intend for you to use it to mix up drinks for the party. Unless you are very drunk or your senses have been damaged by the ear and nose cleaner, resist this impulse. Potable liquids do not belong in a cheap plastic container. This is just a big fake pill bottle. That’s funny enough. Rating: 4 age spots
Inflatable Cane
Old people use canes but, unless they are filled with air and feature hilarious Over the Hill-type slogans, they just aren’t that funny. This cane fills all the requirements and makes a bold Over the Hill statement that no one can miss. Rating: 3 age spots
Over the Hill Golf Balls
Want to prove that you are clueless about Over the Hill gift giving? Present a “sleeve” of Over the Hill golf balls. They’re black with white lettering, and there’s only two in a box. At no time will anyone so much as smile at them. Perfect for the guest of honor with no sense of humor. Rating: 0 age spots
You don’t need to be an internet power user to know where to buy the best Over the Hill gifts in cyberspace. Forget the http’s and just click on the big Over the Hill logo above. Bam! You’re there!